The Black Angel is out tearing his way through the female population of a college. All of the female students seem to be connected, somehow. The movie begins with a dumb ass chasing a giggling girl through the woods.  They make it to a car, hop in and start sexing it up. Well…..first the screen is completely taken up by a tit, then fingering, then they sex it up.  She gets out after he gets off, presumably to go let the load drip out. Next, she comes strolling back outside to find her lover. He’s missing and a popped trunk prompts her to look inside. But, instead of finding anything she gets killed by the trunk slamming down on her.

From here on out, SHADOWS RUN BLACK is a side story interweaved with a non-stop kill-fest of naked chicks.  The story follows Detective Rydell King, who has finally returned to the police force after his daughter was kidnapped and found decapitated.  To say the least, he’s a little edgy. King starts contacting girls who might be connected to this string of homicides and eventually reaches Judy. Judy once dated bad boy Jimmy Scott, played by Kevin Costner, but left him when she found out he was screwing around with other chicks.  Judy lives with her racist brother, Morgan, and his wife Helen. We learn that Helen is getting a little action from Morgan’s law partner on side.  Morgan almost kills Judy’s boyfriend, literally, because he’s black so you can really feel the love in the house during dinner time.  During the scenes I just described, four other naked chicks have been killed by the Black Angel serial killer!

The ending for SHADOWS RUN BLACK wasn’t a big shock, because the killer’s identity is partially revealed through profile shot, during one of his obscene phone calls. But, evidently it was supposed to be a shock.  The killers’ motivations was a little surprising and tied together the loose theme of the film. But, this movie wasn’t rocket science by any means. One of the best scenes in the movie was one with a party filled with potential victims.  During the party, entertainment is provided by a magician and his upright bass playing assistant, who get heckled by a drunk Kevin Costner.

All in all, I liked SHADOWS RUN BLACK, it’s hard not to.  It’s a good movie to have on in the background.  The story is pretty thin. Much of the movie consists of girls getting naked and then killed. So, girlfriends and wives will love it.  On a side note, the end credits are the WORST I have seen in a movie. Imagine watching a green computer screen from 1986 with someone typing in the cast and crew for the movie……..that was it!

As big, sprawling movie rental stores begin to fall off the face of the earth, more and more people are turning to the internet for all their movie watching needs. Thousands of movies and TV shows, in every genre, are at your finger tips with your remote control or laptop. The most popular and my personal favorite of these services is NETFLIX. Have you found yourself aimlessly browsing through the streaming horror movie section? Reading plot summary after plot summary trying to decide on a flick that is not going to totally suck ass and waste your precious time? I sure as hell have. So one evening I decided to just let the remote do the picking for me. I closed my eyes and let the arrows scroll from movie to movie, and page to page, vowing to myself to watch the random pick no matter what. It could be old, it could be new, it could be a classic, or it could be the biggest piece of shit since HOUSE OF THE DEAD. Hence, Netflix Roulette was born! Every week here at FUN WITH HORROR, I will be randomly watching and reviewing a horror movie that is currently streaming on NETFLIX. Hopefully this segment will aid you in your next online viewing decision. Enjoy!

FROM DUSK TILL DAWN

The wheel has landed on my favorite Robert Rodriquez flick, FROM DUSK TILL DAWN. A glorious mash-up of action, horror, and black comedy. Co- written by Quentin Tarantino, you know right off the bat, you are in for a treat.

George Clooney and Quentin Tarantino star as the Gecko brothers. Two bank robbers on the run from the law after a violent crime spree. They hijack an RV, along with the minister and his two kids that occupy it. They cross the border into Mexico and hole up in a little dive bar called The Titty Twister. It’s a rough joint, full of bikers, gangsters, and strippers. But, once the sun goes down, the occupants of the bar become a whole different entity. The kind of entity that loves blood and hates crucifixes.

It’s hard to believe that this movie came out over ten years ago. I remember watching it over and over again when it was first released. It was the movie you had to see or you were shunned by the group. Guns, violence, vampires, blood, and Salma Hayek dancing half-naked with a snake. What high school boy wouldn’t want to see that?! George Clooney tears up the screen as the leader of the bunch and an all around bad ass. He doesn’t take any shit and is hilarious with his sharp wit. Tarantino plays it more mellow but is, of course, psychotic. His delusions often get the best of him and he acts out with horrible ultra violence. When the vamps finally come out to play, things get messy. Red blood, green blood, decapitations, amputations, burnings, and much more to add to the gore meter. The story moves right along, never leaving your bored. The dialogue is well written, funny, and has the Tarantino/Rodriquez stamp all over it.

If for some odd reason you are reading this and have NOT seen FROM DUSK TILL DAWN, throw down your laptop and fire up Netflix! (unless of course you watch Netflix  on your laptop, then slap yo’ mamma instead.)

10 Bikini Clad Hayek’s Out of 10

I’m a big fan of Italian horror flicks, whether they’re cannibal exploitation or zombie exploitation, they are usually pretty insane and full of gore.  So, when I caught wind of DR. BUTCHER M.D. I was pretty excited to find that it is an amalgamation of both a zombie movie and a cannibal movie.

DR. BUTCHER M.D. starts in New York City in the late 70’s. Someone is stealing parts from cadavers in a medical school.  Finally, the culprit is caught but jumps out of a window and splats on the ground before anyone can ask questions.  Lori, a doctor at the medical school becomes interested in the connection between the tattoo found on the body part snatcher and the red symbol on one of the knives hanging on her wall……..she’s an archeologist too.  When the police get involved, they say the same thing has been happening all over the city.  So, the next logical step is for the lead investigator in the body snatching cases, along with Lori and a news reporter looking for her big break, to venture off to the islands where the symbol originated.  In the area, and I couldn’t figure out really where, the group meets up with Dr. Obrero, who unbeknownst to them is experimenting on corpses.  They are then sent to an island with the help of Dr. Obrero’s assistant.  It’s evident that the assistant is trying to steer the group to a safe island, because he is sweating bullets. But, unforeseen boat trouble lands them on the shores of the vicious cannibals.  Soon, we find out this island is also inhabited by the zombie creations of DR. BUTCHER.  All forces clash and many people die violent deaths.

I thought DR. BUTCHER was very entertaining.  There is a lot of great gore and all the zombies look cool as hell!  The story is self-explanatory and all of the characters are memorable enough.  The movie also follows the standard Italian horror film tradition of having soap opera-esque acting. But, if you’re used to that, it doesn’t really stand out.  The only thing I found strange was the scene where Lori is exalted as the cannibal queen instead of being made into a cannibal saltlick.  However, the newly appointed position requires excessive nudity so I decided to trust the cannibals’ electoral system and relax.

This was a good flick. No real complaints.  If you’re a fan of ZOMBIE, CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST, EATEN ALIVE, or the scores of other Italian horror movies, I recommend picking up a copy of DR. BUTCHER M.D.  It’s been recently re-released in a blu-ray/DVD combo by Shriek Show and you can’t go wrong.

The Trocadero is at 1003 Arch Street, Philadelphia. Tickets are $10 and are available from www.thetroc.com or by calling 215-922-6888.

The gritty, gruesome, grindhouse Father’s Day follows that classic story we all grew up with: boy watches father murdered, boy grows into a vengeful one-eyed man, man teams up with a priest and a male prostitute to take down his father’s killer. For more on Father’s Day, including information on filmmakers Astron-6, visit www.thefathersdaymovie.com

Every day I spend countless hours at work searching eBay, Amazon, Wikipedia, and numerous other reference websites in hopes of coming across horror movies still trapped on only VHS. After numerous written warnings for non-work related internet usage I have amassed a collection of movies that will NEVER be transferred onto a high-definition platform. Some are hidden gems, some are total garbage, but all of them are part of my VHS Vault.

HOSPITAL MASSACRE is one of those movies that I cannot believe hasn’t been released on DVD. It’s a great slasher movie from 1982. HOSPITAL MASSACRE stars Playboy regular Barbi Benton as Susan. The movie starts out with a flashback of Susan and her friend giggling about a Valentine’s Day card given to her by a weirdo kid. The weirdo is also a psychopath because he kills Susan’s friend to spite her. Oh childhood…… Now, 19 years later, Susan is paying a visit to the hospital to get the results of her ‘physical’ exam. However, a lunatic dressed up as a surgeon kills Susan’s physician and she is stuck with a creep who can’t make sense of the mysterious X-rays in her medical record. The doctor admits Susan to an inpatient room occupied by 3 rude, old wenches while he tries to figure out what is going on with her. The killer keeps the body count high as he tears through the hospital staff attempting to reach Susan. Will she escape or be the next victim in HOSPITAL MASSACRE.

This movie is awesome! Barbi Benton, surprised me by pulling off a good performance. The rest of the major players turned in reasonable performances, as well. The killer was totally insane; when he kills it isn’t sleek or sexual like a lot of other slasher films. He brutalizes the victim, screaming, grunting, wailing and whatever else he can do to come across as unhinged. The filmmakers masterfully created a highly surreal atmosphere in the scenes where the slaughtering surgeon is onscreen. To achieve that, they employed the use of dramatic music, different lighting, and I think they filmed the scenes at a different speed. It seems as though the filmmakers for EXORCIST III took some cues from HOSPITAL MASSACRE for their hospital killer. I liked that HOSPITAL MASSACRE sets up several potential killers and keep the actual killer’s true identity a secret until the end. It’s a little obvious who the killer is, but I like that better than knowing who the killer is the whole time.

I wholeheartedly recommend HOSPITAL MASSACRE. The combination of atmosphere, good acting, lots of kills, and a dose of healthy nudity from a playmate that isn’t an idiot justifies the obscene amount of money I spent on this VHS tape

HOSPITAL MASSACRE earns a 95%

Sam Raimi fans rejoiced when he made his triumphant return to the horror genre. After years of directing Toby McGuire in spandex, the man came back to his roots.

A young loan officer named Christine is trying to climb her way to the top of the corporate ladder. In order to impress her manager, Christine denies an old gypsy woman an extension on her mortgage.  This pisses off the old bat to no end and she lays down a demonic curse upon Christine. This curse guarantees she will be dragged into Hell in three days. Now, it’s a race against time for Christine to find a way to break the curse.

This movie could have easily been EVIL DEAD 4. Demonic possession, slapstick gags, and all kinds of different colored bodily fluids flying everywhere.  My brother said it best when he described the movie as “goopy.” Snot, bile, bugs, blood, it’s all heavily present.  All the signature Raimi moments are included. The quick zoom shots, the string heavy score, those creepy demon voices resonating from their possessed hosts (listen closely for one of the most well-known EVIL DEAD quotes) and let’s not forget the trademark yellow car! With a budget Raimi could only dream about in the early eighties, he is able to pull off all the effects and gags perfectly. It is a very good looking movie; even the CGI is top-notch. The story line is pretty basic. This is the kind of movie you watch repeatedly. It’s great fun.

DRAG ME TO HELL is a welcome addition to the original horror category. It was nice to see Sam Raimi back in the horror saddle. You could tell he was having a lot of fun with this movie. Well worth a look if you haven’t seen it yet.

One of the best perks of writing for the best horror website ever is that I have a great excuse to buy a ridiculous amount of movies. Another perk is that people send us their movies to review.  I recently had the chance to sit down with a few cocktails and watch a 10-minute short from 16-year-old director Sam Toller. The film is called WE ARE WHAT WE EAT,

The film starts as standard zombie fare.  Karl, a high-school student, shows up late to class and feeling ill.  Later on, he attacks Nicole, one of his classmates.  She escapes with a small wound on her leg, making it home carrying a bloody stick. From there, WE ARE WHAT WE EAT throws the audience a curveball. The next day Karl is fine. We see he and Nicole are chatting about the attack being nothing but a rouse. Nicole checks her leg to find that the wound is gone. When she looks up, she finds that Karl has transformed in to a full on zombie and he tries to take a bite out of her.  Nicole makes her way back to school where she discovers that all of her classmates are zombies. Dead bodies litter the hallways of her high school.  There is a nice homage to the LIVING DEAD franchise when the teenage zombies pull a teacher apart. But, Toller gives the scene it’s own identity by showing it through the point of view of the victim.

WE ARE WHAT WE EAT is a great short film with a lot more to it than one might expect.  The direction is phenomenal and there is a lot of creative camera work. The director did some amazing stuff with the scenes of Nicole back at her house.  Toller created an incredible aura in these scenes that was in stark contrast to the rest of the film. Coupled with a disorienting storyline, you are left wanting to see more from Toller. The only thing that I found avaerage about the film was Nicole’s performance towards the end.  You would think that after seeing all of her classmates dead or as zombies would invoke a stronger reaction from her. Her performance in the rest of the film was great, so I was left wondering if her complacency was intentional.  WE ARE WHAT WE EAT is a great film. It accomplishes a lot in 10 minutes.  I’m on board to see what comes next from writer/director Sam Toller.

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